TALL TALES

G: Bring the Kids - PG: Approach With Caution - PG-13: In-Laws, Coworkers Keep Out - R: Wife, In-Laws, Coworkers Definitely Keep Out - X: Probably Something Involving Robert Logan

14

July 2005

Oprah's Book Club

There was a period in 1977 where we fancied ourselves as book connoisseurs, after someone had brought down a low end porno novel, ‘Enema Punishment’, which we later used as a joke song title (we did this a bunch - songs would sometimes have different titles at practice than they did live.)

Realizing this was a chance to better ourselves, we took a trip to a Santa Ana adult bookstore and picked up ‘Annie’s Boy Hunger’ (purchased strictly for the cover, a Joan Collins aged hottie in white stockings), and ‘Chicken Slave’, a sad tale about a street kid that gets kidnapped by a powerful rich guy. We started trading them with each other like they were high-class novels, and judged them as such. Some reviews, 28 years later:

Annie’s Boy Hunger: An excellent story about a lusty 50 year old with an insatiable appetite for teenage boys (Where was this woman when we were in school?) She bought a mountain cabin next to a YMCA summer camp so she’d have a new legion of young boys every year to seduce. We all gave thumbs up to this one, though we all agreed when the 14-year-old girl showed up in the story with her annoying dominatrix tude’, it was a little gratuitous. An unnecessary diversion in an otherwise fine story.

Chicken Slave: This was the story of Davey, a Hollywood street urchin who gets picked up by a powerful rich man and kept inside of his mansion against his will. There was a sharp twist at the end, where the man snatches another kid off the street, who’d later figured out an escape plan. The night that he’s going to run off, he tells Davey to hurry up and run with him, but at this exact moment Davey realizes that it was actually his destiny to be Chicken Slave, and stayed behind. Whoa. Didn’t see that one coming. A rare book about loyalty and dealing with the unexpected.

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